Dear Lucia,
I met a man a few weeks back and we got along really well. He had to depart at the end of the night and we kissed. Just as he was about to step out he asked if I would do lunch with him. I paused and blushed until he said, "Oh you don’t do that sort of thing."
Instead we arranged to meet at the same place the next week for a drink (mentioning I am at the venue regularly). I happily went back and found that he did not return? Will he return?
—Jez
Dear Jez,
Since I’m not a psychic, I don’t know if he’ll return. Maybe he couldn’t make it and since he didn’t have your number, he had no way of getting a hold of you to let you know.
He asked you to lunch so he’s obviously interested. All you can do is go back to your meeting place and one day he’ll probably show up. The next time someone asks you to lunch and you’re interested, just say yes and that way you won’t be in this situation again.
Dear Lucia,
I am the other woman, he and I have been chatting online for nearly 2 1/2 years. Right at the beginning I knew he was married and he said he was unhappy but because of their children they had chosen to stay together. He is military and was stationed in Germany at the time.
This past June we finally met and things went along very nicely. He now is stationed in Tx, I’m in NY. I’m seeing him in Dec. for a week’s vacation. He tells me I’m not wasting my time by continuing to see him. Am I??
—Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Not only are you wasting your time, you’ve already wasted 2 years that could have been spent dating or in a relationship with someone that was available and faithful. Why do you think so little of yourself that you’re willing to spend your time chatting to a married stranger for years? What is the appeal? Are you afraid of being with a man that’s actually available?
Of course he’s going to say that he’s unhappily married. Has a married man ever told a woman that he was happily married but he just wanted to have someone on the side? I doubt it. Put yourself in his wife’s position. Would you want your husband to behave like that? Even if he does get divorced, you still have a man that has no qualms about sneaking around when he’s married. Is that the kind of guy you want?
To quote Angelina Jolie, "I wouldn’t be interested in a man that would cheat on his wife." I suggest you and every other woman reading this, who is involved with a married man, adopt her attitude.
Dear Lucia,
You bless me always with your eloquent advice. I would love to read your column in the LA Times or a nation-wide newspaper for the people to discover your qualities and intellect. Indeed you are special.
—Frank C.
Lucia,
Your writing is very open and that’s a very sexy quality.
—Shane
Dear Lucia,
Just read your "Ex-factor" article. I start all relationships by asking if they are carrying a torch for someone. It’s amazing how often they are. Getting them to admit it is the problem. So many people are hanging on to that one ideal person who wouldn’t come through for them.
—JG
REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at: http://www.theartoflove.net
Watch Lucia’s show, The Art of Love, on Adelphia Public Access on Tuesday, Dec. 13 at 9 p.m.
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