When we finally had our first kiss, I felt nothing. I couldn’t believe it. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. A week later we “did the deed” and it was the second worst sex of my life.
I finally realized that even if you’re attracted to someone, that’s not a guarantee of great sex. Wouldn’t it be nice to know beforehand, so you won’t be so disappointed, if you even decide to go there?
Luckily, I just read a great book called Supersex by Tracey Cox and found out some ways to know if someone will be good in bed. Although the author is referring to men, I think these can be applied to both sexes:
How do they eat? “The wham-bam-thank-you-man demolishes a hamburger in 10 seconds flat. The only-do-it-on-Sunday-morning-in-the-missionary-position person refuses to eat anything but steak and potatoes and hamburger-and-fries combos. If he’s not into experimenting or trying exotic fare, he’s hardly going to dish up the Kama Sutra behind closed doors. …
“Even worse are the fussy, finicky types who hassle the waiter and send things back to the kitchen four times. Imagine what this guy would be like if your body’s not up to snuff – let alone your sexual technique … The litmus test for food though is if he shares. The man who offers you a mouthful of his main course is a keeper.” When you go out to eat together for the first time, peruse the menu and ask his opinions of some of the more unusual dishes. Would he ever try them?
How does he move? “Someone once said that dancing is sex standing up and fully clothed. Pay attention to what he does on the dance floor and you’ve just had a glimpse into what he’ll get up to in the bedroom. You’re looking for variety, rhythm and an ability to lose himself in the music.
“The self-conscious get the boot … Ditto anyone who can dance without ever moving the lower half of their body … At the opposite end of the spectrum is the Look at Me!!! Sex with an overt exhibitionist is rarely satisfying. He’s usually so self-absorbed, your function is simply to be a live mirror who oooh’s and aaah’s over how fabulous he looks and performs …
“Beware the guys who make jerky, hectic movements on the dance floor … premature ejaculator.” The next time you meet someone you’re interested in, be sure to ask: “Can you dance?”
How does he talk? “If he’s talking in a monotone and changes expressions once an hour, you’ve hardly hit on Mr. Enthusiastic. The guy who’s throwing his arms up in the air and nearly knocking over the water is full of life and passion. In general, the more outgoing and socially skilled he is, the more likely he is to be a good communicator in bed.”
Observe how he talks to different people. If he’s reserved with everyone, he’ll probably be reserved with you too! Bo-ring.
How’s his touch? “Is he generous with his affection? The more comfortable he is with expressing affection, the more affectionate and loving he’ll be during sex. How he holds your hand is a great indicator of how he’ll perform. If he intertwines his fingers with yours, he’s likely to be highly erotic.
“At the opposite end is the man who does a half hearted fingertips only hand hold. Words like ‘lukewarm lover’ and ‘commitment-phobe’ should spring to mind.” If he won’t hold hands at all, run!
How’s his kiss? “The clincher! If it’s melt material, so will the sex be. If it’s awful, don’t go there. If he refrains from shoving his tongue down your throat, he won’t rush you into sex (expect foreplay galore). Most promising sexually is someone who’ll kiss with their lips and touch you somewhere else with their hands at the same time.”
I can’t stress the kiss enough. Cher was right when she sang, “It’s in his kiss.” If “it” is not there, you probably won’t find “it” in the bedroom either.
REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at: www.theartoflove.net.
Watch Lucia’s show, “The Art of Love,” on Adelphia Public Access on Monday, April 10 at 8:30 p.m.
The Art of Love is sponsored by: Twisted Elegance Boutique, 7407 and 7560 Melrose Ave.