Dear Lucia,

I know you read a lot of books about relationships, but which one would you recommend for singles who find it difficult to find a partner?


Dear Andra,

If you are having difficulty finding a partner, you are not going to find the answer in a book. First and foremost, you need to be open to finding one. This may seem obvious, but often, there is a subconscious resistance.

A few years ago, my girlfriend and I would go out to clubs with a mutual male friend. Guys would always approach me and rarely approach her. She asked our male friend why this was happening and he said, “Because Lucia is open to meeting guys.”

That's the reason why you can attend a party with 200 people and not meet anyone you find suitable. Whereas, someone that is open, will go home with lots of phone numbers. I suggest you go in for a few counseling sessions regarding this.

Dear Lucia,

Can you translate women into English ? A woman told me that “I shouldn't be so shy.” What does that mean?


Dear Anonymous,

Unless a woman doesn't mind being the masculine energy in a relationship, she wants a man, and shyness isn't usually associated with masculinity. Women want someone who is able to take charge of a situation. We feel safer and protected that way.

If a woman says, “You shouldn't be so shy,” it could either mean she knows you're interested in her but haven't made a move or, if you're already dating and haven't made any sexual advances, she's letting you know it's okay. So, my advice to you is: Don't be so shy!

Dear Lucia,

I met a guy at a party and gave him my number. It took him a week to call me. Does that mean he's not really interested?


Dear Dorothy,

Actually, it probably means the opposite. There is currently a movement afoot that tells men to wait five to nine days to call a woman when they get her number. Why? Because he will stand out from all the other guys that usually call within a day or two and the woman will be more intrigued.

Well, I don't agree. I think there are other ways to stand out. When a guy waits that long, it sends out a big smoke signal that he's interested but he's playing games. Fine, let the games begin.

Here's how you handle this situation. You met John at a party and he finally calls after a week. This is how the conversation should go:

You: Hello.

John: Hi, it's John. We met last Friday.

You: …(pause) John?

John: Yeah! We met at Chris' party.

You: Oh, you're the veterinarian!

John: No, I'm the lawyer.

You: …(pause) Oh, I remember now. Hi. How are you!

This way, you let him think you weren't sitting around wondering why he was taking so long to call. See how it can backfire on him if you handle it this way?

There is of course always a minor possibility that he was undecided about whether to call and finally decided to try it or he could be seeing someone else and wrestled with the idea of if he should call or not. Any way you look at it, when a guy waits too long to call, it's rarely a good sign.

If he was intrigued with you, he'd want to speak to you and see you as soon as possible. Proceed with caution.

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

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