Dear Lucia,

I have recently found a romantic prospect while surfing through an online personal ad service. This woman's picture caught my eye and I continued to read her profile which really intrigued me because we seem to share the same mutual interests. I discovered she only lives eight miles from me and this intrigued me even further.

My profile is very simple and to the point, as hers is as well. I feel I have a great chance of getting a response. I decided to reply to her ad and I felt really at ease simply because of our mutual interests.

She has not been on the site since I sent the email so her user profile marks my message as unread. It has been two weeks now and a friend said I should follow up on the email, short and sweet, to show I still have interest. Do you feel this is a good idea?

The last thing I want to come across as is desperate. However, I don't want her to read it later and not respond because of the age of the email. I really am interested in this woman and I feel there may be a connection if I just get one shot at a date!


Dear Jasper,

I love that name! To the untrained eye, the answer to your letter would appear to be very simple. However, if you wanted a simple answer, you wouldn't have written to me!

As a “so-called” expert, I'm supposed to be able to look beyond the surface to a deeper level of meaning, and luckily I did! Whew!

I'm glad you found someone close to home. We all wish we could meet a potential mate that lives just a few minutes away. However, your attitude leads me to believe you may be new to online dating. You sound very interested in this woman who you have not yet spoken to or seen in person.

I don't want your optimism to kill your “one shot at a date”. It's great that you have similar interests and she's practically a neighbor, but you must still be objective. Otherwise, she may sense your eagerness and be put off by it.

I suggest you wait until she logs back on to the site and see if she responds. If she doesn't, send another email, referring back to the fact that you had sent a previous one and go from there. If she doesn't respond to that one, then, onto the next profile!

Dear Lucia,

I have a friend that I have been chatting with online and over the phone. He told me that he has a girlfriend but he always tries to flirt with me and ask me questions about my personal life. Should I trust him to be a true friend?

He calls me everyday and if he misses a day, he apologizes nonstop. I am so confused. How do I treat him?


Dear Betsy,

Well, the fact that he has a girlfriend yet talks to you almost daily tells me he's not a true boyfriend, therefore, I doubt his ability to be a true friend. While I'm sure all the attention is flattering, don't for a minute begin to think that he may be a potential beau, otherwise, one day you just may find out that he's been chatting up another girl. Treat him as someone you have a chat/phone relationship with and leave it at that.

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

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