Why is the title of this article “Make” Him Commit? In general, women are only too happy to commit and therein lies the problem. They usually want to move the relationship along faster than men do, whether it's casual dating, a monogamous relationship, living together or getting married.

They try to convince the man by ineffective methods such as repeatedly talking about it, nagging, whining, threatening, issuing ultimatums, begging, crying and arguing. Would that type of behavior make you want to commit?

What if I told you there was an easier way to achieve your goal?

According to the book Love Tactics , “It's very possible that a person is growing to love you but is not yet consciously aware of it.” So how can you help your guy get in touch with his subconscious feelings? What I'm about to tell you will go against every fiber in your being, every bone in your body, but it is, I believe, what usually works best when you want to move a relationship to the next level.

It's two simple words: Go away.

Yes, that's right, go away. I'd always heard that men fall in love “in the spaces,” that is, when we're not around. Unlike women, who are usually quite aware of their feelings for someone, men usually get in touch with their feelings when they realize they miss their woman. If women are always there complaining and begging for a commitment, they miss out on giving their man the gift of missing them.

I was recently listening to a radio show where a young man in his early 20s called in. Since I was taping the show at the time, I have his words verbatim:

“She would ignore me and I'd want her more. I would ignore her and she'd want me more. We'd both make each other retardedly jealous and then have great sex later. I guess she played me for so long and I played her for so long I'm actually starting to sadly have feelings … Now she's back home for the summer for a month and for once I don't feel like hooking up with anyone else. So I go hook up with another girl, what's that gonna do for me?”

So here's this young man faced with the situation of not seeing his girl for a month and he realizes he has feelings for her. She didn't need to do anything, except live her life and go home for a month.

A similar situation happened to me. I was living in Italy with my boyfriend of five years when I decided I wanted to check out Los Angeles and see if I wanted to live here. The one time the “m” word came up, he said rather smugly, “I'm never going to marry you.” In typical Lucia fashion, I answered, “I don't care.”

I had been in L.A. for about a month when he called and asked me to marry him. He'd realized I was the one for him; he didn't need to keep looking and he was willing to wait as long as it took. I had never discussed marriage with him, never had “the talk.” I just did my thing and when I wasn't around, my absence forced him to look at his true feelings for me.

These examples are generally the rule, not the exception. In next week's issue I have two true stories of how women got their guys to the altar by “going away.”

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at: www.theartoflove.net.

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