Dear Lucia,

There is this girl I really like. I talk to her and we hang out sometimes. She is the friend of a friend. What’s a good way to know if she likes me or is just being nice? Girls are hard to figure out. What’s a good indication that a girl is interested and not just really nice to everyone?

— Franky

Dear Franky,

In her book, Nonverbal Courtship Patterns in Women: Context and Consequences, Dr. Monica Moore’s research led her to come up with the following list of how women signal to men that they are interested in them:

* Smiles broadly at him

* Throws a short glance

* Looks straight at him and flips her hair

* Stares at him

* Looks at him, tosses her head, looks back

* Accidentally brushes against him

* Nods her head at him

* Tilts her head and touches her neck

* Licks her lips while making eye contact

* Primps while keeping eye contact

* Parades close to him with exaggerated hip movement

* Asks for his help

If she’s doing one or more of these things, it’s a safe bet that she’s interested. However, it’s up to you to make a move.

Instead of coming right out and saying, "We should get together sometime" or "Would you like to go out sometime?" it’s best to first find out what her interests are. If she says she absolutely loves Chinese food, tell her you know of a great Chinese restaurant you’d be happy to take her to. If she says she would like to see a particular film, say you haven’t seen it either and ask if she would she like to see it with you. Good luck.

Dear Lucia,

I am from South America. I was trying to meet American girls and I found that when they are alone, they also are (or maybe pretend to be) concentrated on their own worries and thoughts, and not making eye contact (although I’ve tried). Only when they are with other friends or even their boyfriends do they make eye contact and flirt. Can you explain this to me?


Dear Anonymous,

I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about. Are you saying girls aren’t willing to make eye contact with you if they are by themselves? Maybe they’re not interested.

Maybe in your country the girls are less reserved and make eye contact with everyone, regardless of whether they are alone are not. I’m not sure I can help you.

If anyone can shed some light on this, please write in so we can help this guy.

Dear Lucia,

Here’s a scenario: You know the woman likes you, but right before you give her your digits, she says, "I’m really not looking for anyone. We’ll have a beer or two once in awhile but that’s it." Why else would she ask for my number? I don’t want to be that "someone on the side" for "just in case."

—Ben T.

Dear Ben,

Well, I hate to tell you this, but that’s exactly what she wants. If a woman is interested in someone as more than a friend, she will never, ever say, "I’m really not looking for anyone." Now it’s up to you as to whether you want to go out a few times and see if you can change her original opinion of you (as just a potential friend) or just pass on it altogether.

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

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