A few years ago I was seeing a guy that was barely making ends meet, always getting written up at work and getting into confrontations with people. He said and did all kinds of things to me that I would not put up with today, but at the time I hung in there.
The final straw was when he blew me off on my birthday. I stopped taking his calls. A few weeks later he left a message saying he'd been evicted and would be moving back to the East Coast shortly. Since I still had feelings for him, I called back and said he could stay with me for a few days.
Two and half months later, he finally moved out. I had lost all respect for him and wanted nothing to do with him ever again. The last time I saw him, he was riding a bike since he'd also lost his car due to excessive tickets. I could have saved myself a lot of time and aggravation if I had ended it at the first signs that he didn't have it together.
Last year, I had a date with someone I met online, for 1 p.m. on a Sunday. He sent a text message at 1 p.m. that day to say something had come up and he couldn't make it.
When he called a few days later, I told him I was no longer interested in meeting him. I said, “Sending a text message, especially at the last minute, was very disrespectful. I've been down this road before and it doesn't lead to anything good.”
He apologized and wished me well. The following week he left several messages, asking for another chance. I knew it wasn't going to work out, but decided to meet him anyway.
We had a great time on the date. He was so nervous that he almost forgot to pay the bill! Well, I never heard from him again, until 10 months later. He sent a text saying he couldn't believe he still had my number and asked how was I doing? He'll never know, because I will never call or text him back.
Another time, I had a date with someone that was late. He didn't have my number to call me. I waited for a while, then left. Later that day I received an e-mail in which he accused me of not showing up and wasting his time. My antenna went up and said, “Abort! Abort!”
Without waiting to hear my explanation, he immediately went into attack mode – not a great character trait for a loving partner. He has continued to stalk me via e-mails ranging from asking me out to dinner to insulting me.
What's the best way to tell if someone has his or her act together? They keep their word.
If they say they're going to call at a specific time or day, they call. If they say their going to do something, they do it. If they need to change plans, they're respectful of your time and let you know well in advance. Two friends of mine who fit this profile are, not surprisingly, multi-millionaires.
To quote spiritual guru Marianne Williamson, “When you decide to play big, you will no longer be attracted to people who play small.” Happy New Year.
Love: inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at: www.theartoflove.net.