Happy Valentine's Day! My first book, Lucia's Lessons of Love (Volume 1), is out today. For more information, go to: www.lessonsoflove.net .
Here is a preview of some of the questions I answer in the book:
What does, “I don't want a relationship” mean?
When someone says they don't want a relationship, they're leaving out two little words: with you . They're not interested in you for the long term so they will use many excuses, including having been badly hurt in the past, not being over their ex or not wanting to be in a relationship.
If someone is interested in you, they will rarely say, “I don't want a relationship” because they know they'd be crazy to risk losing you.
Is it true absence makes the heart grow fonder?
That depends. If the other person has deep feelings for you, then yes, it's true.
On the other hand, it's “out of sight, out of mind” if you're talking about someone you've just met or the interest is casual. Comte de Bussy-Rabnutin said it best with: “Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.”
What does “friends with benefits” mean?
It means that you behave as a couple but without the benefit of monogamy and commitment. It should actually be called “friends without benefits” since this situation usually only “benefits” the man.
Whether they are willing to acknowledge it or not, women aren't wired to have sex without feelings; they generally want it to mean something. If women were meant to have sex like men, they would be greater consumers of porn.
There would be just as many male porn stars as there are women, and Harlequin romance novels would be out of business. To quote author Pat Allen, “When women give up their parts, they give up their hearts.”
Why do I always attract the wrong people?
The problem is not that you attract the wrong people, but that you continue to keep them in your life once they have shown you they're not right for you. Time is a non-renewable resource. Once it's gone, it's gone. Don't waste it on people who don't make your life better.
When you decide to play big, you will no longer be interested in people that play small. Author M. Somerset Maugham said it best with, “It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”
What does it mean when a woman says, “maybe” or “I don't know?”
Ninety-nine percent of the time it means, “no,” but women don't want to reject you or your request while they're talking to you. So, they say “maybe” or “I don't know” in order to let you down easy.
What does it mean if a man says, “Call me” at the end of a date?
At times it's because he knows he won't be calling back, and that's his way of not using the, “I'll call you” line. However, in the majority of cases the man is unsure how you feel about him. He's putting the ball in your court to see if you'll call him, which will let him know you're interested.
I suggest you smile and say, “No. You call me.” This lets him know that you're interested but still expect him to do the calling.
A man who likes you will call back, even if you don't call him . A man who doesn't, won't.
Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at: www.theartoflove.net