The first bachelor was Mr. “K.” By the time we met, I had taken my profile down because I was getting too many e-mails.
At the end of the first date, he walked me to my door, gave me a hug and said, “Call me.” If you've read my book ( Lucia's Lessons of Love ), you already know that my response was, “No. You call me.”
By putting the ball back in his court, I was letting him know I was interested, but he needed to be the man and do the calling. Five minutes after we said goodbye, he called to say he wanted to make sure I got in safely.
He also said he had wanted to kiss me. Aaah …
When we went on our second date a week later, I found that I was starting to like him. What's not to like – he laughed at my jokes and said I was gorgeous.
At the end of the evening, he gave me two light kisses on the lips and said, “I know you're very busy tomorrow, but I'm going to call you anyway.” I never heard from him again, until I put my profile back up three weeks later and he sent an e-mail.
Here is a part of his e-mail: How have you been? Haven't heard from you in a while. Guess you forgot about me. He also left a phone message 20 minutes after he wrote the e-mail.
I ignored both the e-mail and the phone call. I was interested in Mr. “K” but I was not going to put myself in the position of getting close to someone who was able to disappear for no apparent reason. Turns out Mr. “K” was not so “Special.”
WHAT HE DID WRONG:
1) Saying he would call the next day and not following through: If he had simply said, “I'll call you” and then not called for three weeks, it's possible I would have called him back. We had only gone on two dates, and if he didn't want to call for three weeks, that's fine. However, when he didn't keep his word, I no longer trusted him.
2) Trying to put the blame on me for being out of touch: Sure, he may have been joking. He knew he messed up and was hoping I wouldn't say anything. If he had kept it real and admitted making a mistake, the possibility existed that I would have given him another chance.
3) Contacting me just because I put my profile back up: I don't think it's a coincidence that he decided to get in touch with me within 24 hours of my profile being back up. If he was really interested in reconnecting with me, he had three weeks to do it in, but he didn't.
The next bachelor was Mr. A. He is currently on a TV reality show. We had a great first conversation on the phone – he loves to talk and I love to listen.
One yellow flag I noticed was that he bragged about his sexual prowess. We met for coffee, and conversation flowed easily.
As he walked me to my car he said, “Call me and let me know how the date went.”
“ What date? ” (I honestly had no idea what he was referring to).
You (the reader) already know my answer to that .
A few days later, Mr. A. called on Saturday morning to see if I was available that afternoon to go to a high school basketball game that he was possibly thinking of going to. Do I look like someone that goes to high school basketball games? Do I look like someone that's available at the last minute? His request was refused.
When we talked during the following week, he said I wouldn't find someone better than him. Oh really…
The following Sunday, he called at 4:45 p.m. to invite me to a Lakers game that started at 6 p.m. Huh? I would have loved to go, but I'm not going to be an afterthought.
I said, “Sorry. I don't do last minute.”
A few days after that he sent me a “Kiss” from the dating Web site we'd met on. I didn't respond, and he hasn't tried to get in touch with me since.
Part Two will be in next week's issue.
Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at www.theartoflove.net .Read an excerpt from Lucia's Lessons of Love at www.lessonsoflove.net .