1) Discussed sex during the first phone call and first date: A m I a prude? Hardly. But women want to be with a gentleman, and that's not how a gentleman behaves.
2) Calling at the last minute for dates: This makes a woman think you already had plans with someone else, and they fell through, so she's your second or third choice. If a man is interested, he will not risk the woman being unavailable when he would like to see her, and therefore, plans ahead.
3) Not contacting me when I didn't respond to his virtual “Kiss:” At that point, I was still willing to see him again. The fact that he gave up so easily tells me his interest level was not very high, otherwise he would have tried to contact me at least one more time.
Bachelor No. 3 was someone I never actually met. Mr. “S” and I had exchanged a few e-mails when the caption on his profile changed to, “I'm off the market.”
He wrote to me and said he wasn't really off the market, but he didn't want certain people (interpretation: women) calling him. I left him a voicemail with my phone number on a Friday afternoon.
Friday went by. Saturday and Sunday came and went. Monday passed, too. Five days later, on Tuesday afternoon, he sent an e-mail saying he had been busy with work, but he was going to call soon. OK, no problem, I thought.
Well, the planets must have changed overnight, because when I woke up Wednesday morning, I said to myself, “Oh hell no!” If Mr. “S” couldn't find a few minutes to call in five days, I was out. No one is that busy.
I sent him the following e-mail: You don't have to call me. I've changed my mind. If you're that busy, I'm not interested.
Donald Trump once said, “You can tell a lot about a person by how they behave when they lose.” The response I received spoke volumes about whom I was dealing with.
Mr. “S” wrote back saying work came first, and if I couldn't understand that, then we didn't have to meet. He said he wasn't desperate, didn't chase females and was going to get around to me last. He also said some other things I don't want to mention.
I was going to leave it at that and not respond. Then I remembered one of my “Moments of Truth” phrases and wrote, “Such ugly words, from such a handsome man.”
Again he wrote back mentioning the fact that he wasn't going to chase me, and he would have called when he was ready. He accused me of trying to move things along too fast.
I had to laugh because that is the first time anyone has ever said that to me. If anything, it's usually the other way around.
WHAT HE DID WRONG:
1) Changing the caption on his profile so that certain women wouldn't call him: This tells me there's drama in his life. Remember the law of attraction: Like energy attracts like energy. Also, while most people have two to three photos on their profile, he had about 12, and he would change his main photo daily.
2) Not calling for five days: I understand that when you meet a guy in the offline world, sometimes they wait a while to call because they want to stand out and don't want to appear desperate. However, when someone is on a dating site, they are advertising the fact that they are actively seeking someone to date.
Five days is just too much when we're talking about Internet dating, especially when two of those days are weekend days. This tells me he is probably already involved with someone else.
3) His response to my email: When I told him he didn't have to call, he chose to respond from his ego. The ego speaks first, and the ego speaks loudest.
If he had been a gentleman and said something like, “I'm sorry we'll never have the chance to meet. Good luck in your search,” there's a possibility I would have been willing to give him a second chance. Instead, in choosing to send a vitriolic response, he confirmed that I'd made the right decision.
Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at www.theartoflove.net .
Read an excerpt from Lucia's Lessons of Love at www.lessonsoflove.net .