Dear Lucia,

Why would a guy act super into me, then act not interested, then go back to being interested? I’m sure he’s not seeing anyone else. We don’t argue and we have a lot of fun together, but I’m tired of this back and forth attitude.

—Sally R.

Dear Sally,

Hmm. Unless he’s bipolar, he’s probably playing games. I would call him on it and ask what’s going on. If he doesn’t give you a believable answer, or one you’re happy with, you have two choices: Act hot and cold like him and see if that doesn’t change things, or break up.

Dear Lucia,

What should you do if you wanted to date a woman at the same time as one of your close friends, but you "let him go for it" and now regret your decision. I talk to her often still, and she still flirts and makes moves on me. I would really like to date her, but don’t want to hurt my friend.

—Jeff S.

Dear Jeff,

Friends should always be the priority over potential girlfriends or boyfriends. Women will come and go, but your true friends will be there forever. I’m glad you don’t want to hurt your friend. If you were in his shoes, I’m sure you’d want him to do the same. All you can do is ride this one out. Most relationships eventually break up, so hang in there. Be her friend and see what happens.

Dear Lucia,

I have been with my boyfriend for six months who I met online. My concern is, why is his profile still up like he’s single? Should I be concerned about this?

I have asked him about this and he said he wants to get to know people all over the world. His career goal is to be a movie star, therefore, it’s necessary to get his name out there. I know he doesn’t talk to anyone over the phone except me and some close friends and family because his phone bill is under my name. Any suggestions?

—Alison W.

Dear Alison,

He’s online because his career goal is to be a movie star? Ha, ha, ha! I don’t mean to laugh, but that’s the best excuse I’ve heard yet from someone that wants to keep their profile up, even though they have a steady partner. Puh-leese.

You say you have access to his phone bill, but how do you know he doesn’t have another phone, maybe under someone else’s name? Why is the phone in your name? Also, incoming calls, especially on a landline, aren’t listed. Maybe his online liaisons are calling him.

Put your profile back online and if he asks why, say you want to "get to know people all over the world." If that doesn’t get him to take his profile down, then leave. He’s obviously not ready to be monogamous.

Dear Lucia,

My boyfriend won’t kiss me and only wants sex about twice a month. How can I get him to want me more?

—Sandi D.

Dear Sandi,

You can’t get someone to do something they don’t want to do. They’re either inspired to do it or they’re not.

Has it always been like this or has the situation changed recently? If this is how it’s always been, things aren’t likely to change. You need to decide if this is the type of relationship that you want. If you don’t have a high sex drive, then twice a month shouldn’t be a problem. If, however, you need more sex, that’s a different story. If it’s been this way from the start, then your boyfriend probably doesn’t have a high sex drive. If this is a recent development, then you need to ask him what’s going on.

The no kissing bothers me. It almost sounds like he’s treating you like a booty call. You need to have a talk and you may eventually need to walk.

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

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