Dear Lucia,

There’s this guy in two of my classes that is absolutely gorgeous. He is sooo way out of my league. How do I know if he likes me?

He always chooses the seat right beside me (we sit in tables of two) and I’ve seen him looking at me a couple of times. He’s kind of shy and so am I. Every time he sits down I just freeze and can’t even manage to say hi! What’s a good way to start a conversation with him?

—Sandy K.

Dear Sandy,

You need to unfreeze yourself before anything can happen. How do you know he’s out of your league? Maybe it’s just your perception. Even if he is, he may not think he is. If he’s always seating himself next to you there’s probably some interest on his part.

Stop worrying about whether he likes you and concentrate on being fun to be around. You can start by smiling at him when he’s seated next to you or if you see him walking in the hall. Eventually, you can ask him about something the teacher said or about a homework assignment. Sooner or later – if he’s interested – he’ll ask you out.

Dear Lucia,

What is up with guys who don’t return calls? This guy called and left a message saying, "Miss you, call me." That was over three weeks ago. I’ve called and left him a message three times. I just don’t get it.

—Miranda C.

Dear Miranda,

Yeah, I don’t get it either. I don’t get why you would leave three messages. Can you spell "desperate"? Actions speak louder than words. Don’t listen to what someone says, look at what they do. Actions don’t lie. If he really missed you, he would have called you back after your first message.

A few weeks ago I left a message for someone I’m casually seeing and asked him to call me before Thursday. He didn’t call until Friday. I was not pleased and didn’t return his call. A week later, he called again. Now I was pleased because he’d noticed that I didn’t call back and cared enough to leave another message. Phone fanatics, take note.

Dear Lucia,

If a guy you have just started sleeping with asks you if you are sleeping with anyone else, what does that mean? He has said that he is not seeing anyone else. Does he want a relationship?

—Deana W.

Dear Deana,

Maybe. The fact that you don’t know whether he wants a relationship or not means you two are not exclusive. If a couple isn’t exclusive, then who the other person is or isn’t sleeping with is nobody’s business.

Your answer to him should have been, "Why do you want to know?" If he had said he was just curious, your answer would have been, "With all due respect, since we’re not monogamous at the moment, I don’t think that’s any of your business." If he’d said he wanted to be exclusive, you would go from there.

Dear Lucia

Thanks for your definition of "class" in last week’s Campus Circle – and for encouraging more people to acquire it!

—Dee L.

Thanks Dee!

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For more info: The Art of Love