I recently received the following e-mail from a reader.
I read your column every issue, and I have to say that I don’t think what you’re telling people is encouraging breaking down old social walls between men and women. It seems like you’re encouraging the idea that women should have the ultimate power in dating and relationships.
They (women) decide exclusivity, etc. Don’t you think these are mutual decisions? Shouldn’t they involve input on both participants’ behalf? If you do, then it certainly doesn’t come across in your advice.
And regarding the matter of who calls who, you always take the side of women being the passive party and accepting advances rather than making them.
This 1950s era style of dating only serves to slow the social equalities that the 1960s and ’70s were moving toward. I think your advice in these departments belongs to an era that should be forgotten by Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s.
So many people have struggled so hard to break down these gender lines and I think it’s sad to see someone in the 21st century still advocating the old ways.
Res Ipsa Loquitur, R.S.
Not ALL walls were meant to be torn down.
Women DO have the ultimate power because they have the power to bear children. With power comes responsibility. Women have a responsibility to the children they bear to provide a stable, loving environment in which to grow up. If they choose the wrong guy (abusive, cheater, alcoholic, etc.) the children will be affected negatively. This hurts the child and ultimately hurts society (criminals, drunk drivers, etc.).
Women DO decide when to have sex. Otherwise, it’s called RAPE.
I don’t recall ever having said that women decide exclusivity. You can’t make another person be exclusive if they don’t want to be.
I’m not on the side of either men or women. I’m on the side of what works best for society. Men, by nature, are the aggressors. They like to hunt, chase and compete. How many women do you know that like to hunt? How many women do you know that watch baseball, football and other sports on a regular basis? Biology IS destiny, whether you like it or not – no matter WHAT feminists say.
The ’50s may have been too conservative, but the ’60s and ’70s were out of control. The pendulum was to the extreme right and, following the laws of physics, when it started to swing, it swung to the extreme left. It’s time to bring the pendulum to a middle ground.
Whether we’re in the 1st century or the 21st, we still have two sexes – male and female. They have some similarities, but also a lot of differences. When society becomes androgynous, and children are conceived and born in a laboratory, then we can "break down these gender lines."
My advice is based on reality, not ideals or fantasy. I’m pragmatic and base my opinions on the current social model. I’m not interested in being a revolutionary and portraying what should be, but instead concentrate on what is.
REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
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