Dear Melissa,

Join the club. All women ultimately want someone who treats them with respect and with who they have a lot in common with. Yet, for the most part, we all go through a phase where we date jerks, bad boys and players. This seems inevitable. It’s like a fire we have to walk through in order to get to the other side.

What is the other side? Appreciating someone who is there for us, is nice to us, calls when he says he will and shows up for a date.

Why are you dating jerks? The bottom line is, because you want to. It’s like asking, "Why do I keep eating chocolate cake when I want to lose weight?" When you finally get to the point where you have enough self respect and self love, you will stop dating jerks, stop eating chocolate cake, stop getting drunk, etc. Hopefully you’ll get to that point sooner rather than later.

Dear Lucia,

I really love my girlfriend, but I absolutely despise her friends. I just don’t like them. What should I do?

—Terry B.

Dear Terry,

I find that hard to believe. You’ve heard the saying, "Show me who your friends are and I’ll show you who you are?" She must have something in common with them, something she sees in them that she identifies in herself. You’re either choosing not to see the negatives in your girlfriend that you see in her friends, or you’re choosing not to see the positives in her friends that you see in your girlfriend. Does that make sense? So your options are: open your eyes, break up with her, or keep interaction with her friends to a minimum.

Dear Lucia,

How do I tell a guy that I have feelings for him without making myself completely vulnerable?

—Jodie P.

Dear Jodie,

There is absolutely no way to tell someone that you have feelings for them without being vulnerable in some way, unless of course, you don’t care what their reaction is. I’m assuming you do and that you hope the feelings are reciprocal.

You didn’t say if this is a boyfriend or someone you hope will become one. I’m going to assume he’s not your boyfriend and suggest that you keep it light – very light. Say something like: "You’re a really nice guy. I have a lot of fun with you." That’s it. Say it casually, without expecting anything in return. Say it in person so you can gage his reaction and go from there.

Dear Lucia,

Would you or have you ever dated a guy that was shorter than you?

—Martin P.

Dear Martin,

Yes, I briefly dated someone that not only was shorter than me, but he was about 25 pounds overweight and balding! Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Just kidding.

Anyways, even though it’s not the preference of most women to date someone shorter than themselves, they will make an exception if you have a "great personality." What you don’t have in height, you can make up for by being funny, intelligent, witty, etc.

I find a lot of "height challenged" guys can be a bit cocky, which I suppose is to make up for what they feel they’re lacking. This is only attractive to a point. Work on being the kind of guy people want to be with and you shouldn’t have a problem finding dates.

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at: theartoflove777@yahoo.com