: Q & A

Hi Sunny,

If the relationship doesn’t work out, it will probably be more because of your age rather than distance, although the distance thing certainly doesn’t help. You didn’t say how old your boyfriend is, but I’m going to assume he’s close to you in age.

I know you don’t want to hear it, but you are both too young to be thinking long term. This is your first relationship. You need more dating experience under your belt before you can be sure that he’s the one for you.

Can long distance relationships work? Yes, sometimes. It depends on the two people involved and how committed they are to making it work. However, at some point, if it gets more serious, someone is going to have to move.

I suggest you go with the flow and not be too future-oriented at this point.

Hi Lucia,

I’m a divorced man in my late 40s and recently met an attractive, charming, single lady at a hospital where I work as an RN. She is 40ish and a nursing student.

We flirted and clicked right away. She let me know she was divorced and always managed to touch me during our conversations as they were usually of a personal nature, not work-related.

At the end of her rotation, I told her that I felt we had hit it off and would like to keep in touch. She agreed, took my number, but didn’t give hers.

It’s been about a month and unfortunately, no call. I was thinking about her the other day and found she’s listed in the phone book, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to call out of the blue.

Can a guy call someone he met that’s listed without seeming like a stalker? Of course I want her to say she lost my number and how romantic it is that I would remember her, but what do you think?

—Steve

Hi Steve,

Your situation is why I always tell guys to ask for the girl’s number. That way, if she doesn’t want to give you her number, you’ll know right away that she’s not interested.

At this point, we don’t know if she’s just not interested or somehow lost your number. However, the fact she didn’t give hers tells me that she’s probably not interested but took your number so as not to appear rude.

Can you call her without coming across as a stalker? Sorry, but the answer is no.

Is there another way you could find her online? Think back to your conversation. Is there someplace that her e-mail may be listed? Is there any possibility that she’s on MySpace?

Try to find her online and in the meantime, pray that you run into her again. Just remember: always ask for the number if you are interested in a woman!

Hi Lucia,

I fell in love with a girl about six years ago. She had a boyfriend at the time that physically abused her.

After they broke up, she was so turned off by the thought of men that she started dating women. We have stayed very close over the years, and I always get the “if only it were a different time” line from her.

I can’t seem to get over her. She is still dating women, and I’m sitting here pining.

What do you think?

—Jeremy

Hi Jeremy,

I think she needs to do what she needs do. There is a possibility that she will switch back to men, but who knows when that may happen, if ever. Also, there’s no guarantee that she will want to date you, if it does happen.

If she ever switches back, you can see if she’s interested in dating you at that point. In the meantime, you can certainly remain friends, but date other women.

Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at www.theartoflove.net.

Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at www.lessonsoflove.net.