When I first heard about the book He’s Just Not That Into You, I knew I had to read it, if only for research purposes. When every bookstore I called was sold out of it, and there was an unheard of two-week waiting period on Amazon.com, I knew it was destined to become a bestseller.
It is now number one on the New York Times Best Sellers hardcover advice list. What The Rules was to the ’90s, this book is to this decade. I believe every female over 12 should have this book on their shelf (after reading it, of course). Yes, 12. I hear they’re starting early these days.
He’s Just Not That Into You was written by a female writer Liz Tuccillo and male consultant Greg Behrendt, of the Emmy-winning "Sex and the City."
There was an episode in "Sex" where Miranda said she had a date and the guy didn’t want to "come upstairs" afterwards. The male character in that scene uttered the title of the book and Miranda thanked him, saying that statement had saved her 20 years of therapy. While two decades of therapy seems a bit much, I believe reading this book will save women a lot of time, energy and emotion spent on someone who just isn’t interested.
If you’re at all familiar with my Q&A column, you’ve seen that more often than not, I tell the person writing in for advice that they need to walk away from a relationship.
At times I wonder whether I am being too harsh in my advice. However, after reading He’s Just I’m more convinced than ever that I’m advising the right actions for certain situations where it’s obvious – at least to me – that the other person isn’t interested.
I’d like to briefly go over some of the main points in the book:
He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Asking You Out:
A previous letter to my column accused me of taking people back to the ’50s
because I believe the man should do the calling and the chasing. This book agrees
Author Greg Behrendt writes: Just because you like to lead, doesn’t mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason … Men don’t forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Having Sex With You:
According to the book, 20 out of 20 men polled said they have never been really into a woman whom they didn’t want to have sex with. One man wrote in, "What?! Excuse me?! And the point is?!" The author recommends buying a puppy if you’re tempted to spend countless nights cuddling with someone (who doesn’t want to have sex with you).
He’s Just Not That Into You If He Doesn’t Want To Marry You:
I know most of the people reading this column are not anywhere near being ready to be married, but please keep the following in mind when you do reach that point. According to a poll of 20 men, 100 percent of the guys polled said they would have no problem marrying a woman who they were positive was the love of their life. One man said, "What kind of knucklehead has a problem marrying the love of his life?" Exactly!
I hope this column has whetted your appetite and you will run, not walk to the nearest bookstore or computer.
REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.