As another year comes to an end, we are all thinking back to how the year went for us; whether we accomplished what we set out to accomplish or whether we can’t wait for 2007 to be over so that we can try again next year. I started thinking about things that I’ve learned and things I was reminded of this year. Here is my list:

Go to where you’re wanted: Whether we’re talking about a job, a university or a love interest, it’s a lot easier to take a look at who’s interested in you and head in that direction.

If someone is interested in you, they are willing to go the extra mile for you. If they are barely making an effort, then what’s the point? Too often people are beating their head against the wall trying to go where they are not wanted.

Choose wisely: The number one mistake I see people making when it comes to dating is not choosing wisely. They are laying their foundation on sand instead of rock.

When the winds and rain come (i.e. relationship issues), their house is knocked over. Instead, if you build on a solid foundation, the winds and rain may come, but your house (your relationship) will still be left standing.

Women are either bitchy or slutty: One look at MySpace and you’ll see what I mean. Most of the attractive women on that site are undressed and posing provocatively. If you read the pages, a lot of people (men and women) have bad attitudes.

Whatever happened to class and decorum? The result is that men today expect women to fall into one or both of these categories. When they meet a “good girl,” they don’t know what to do with her.

First date sex: I recently heard a scary statistic: one in three women who date online are having sex on the first date. Now, I understand that some women are simply looking for a fling; however, I refuse to believe that a third of all women are looking for casual relationships.

I believe they are mindlessly having sex on the first date (which may very well end up being the last date) because they are so out of touch with their feelings; they are not thinking things through.

Women are getting desperate: In the last week alone, two guys have told me that after one date, women have said they wanted to marry them. Huh? What the heck is going on? Since when is this attractive?

Instead of looking for a quality relationship, they seem to just be looking for any relationship. We women should never be desperate, and even if we are going through a difficult time and may feel that way, we certainly shouldn’t show it.

It’s ego, not love: When someone breaks up with us, our first reaction is usually to want him or her back. We may think it’s love, but often, it’s ego.

We can’t handle the fact that someone doesn’t think we’re as wonderful as we think we are. We think if we can get them back, we’ve proven that we are wonderful and they were wrong. Think carefully about what your motives are when you want someone back.

Fidelity is a choice: Just because you’re in a committed relationship, it doesn’t mean you will never be tempted by anyone. To be human is to be tempted.,br> The question is: Are you going to give in to feelings or stick to your commitment? Are you going to give in to being flattered or are you going to stick to your values? Fidelity is more a matter of choice than a matter of chance.

Commitment: Commitment is about putting away your fears and your selfishness and committing to something bigger than yourself. When you’ve truly made a commitment with your heart and soul, you deal with things. Otherwise, you’re just seeing how it feels, and if it doesn’t feel good, you leave.

Life is not too short: I keep hearing that “Life is too short,” and it’s starting to bug me. People generally use this phrase to justify doing something they know is wrong. Life can be awfully long if you are with the wrong person or you catch an incurable STD just because you thought life was too short.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at

Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at