If you’re a regular reader of this column, you may recall one of my recent articles on "Yellow and Orange Flags." Since then, I’ve begun to notice these flags everywhere, so here are more warning signs to look for as you’re getting to know someone.
Soap Operas: Watching a soap opera is the equivalent of reading a Harlequin romance. And how many guys do you know read romance novels? Exactly. I think the only time a guy should be watching a soap is if he’s actually on it! I can understand him wanting to see his performance, but otherwise it’s a yellow flag.
Your tears: How does a guy react the first time you cry? I once called someone I was casually seeing because I was upset about something that had happened with another guy the day before. His reaction was concern, saying, "Did he hurt you?" It sounded like he was ready to take action if the guy had "hurt me."
However, the first time I cried with a guy I was dating, his reaction was to get out of the house as fast as he could. I later found out he was a player.
If a guy doesn’t know how to handle a woman who’s crying, he may not be mature enough to be in a relationship. If he expresses anything but concern the first time you cry, it’s an orange flag.
No Cell Phone: Believe it or not, there are actually people out there who still don’t have a cell phone. I know some people can’t afford it, but do you want to be dating someone that has such bad money management that they can’t afford $50 a month for something that’s almost as important as the air (albeit polluted) we breathe?
Then there are those who simply refuse to accept new technology and are rebelling against it. Do you want to be dating a Ted Kaczynski?
Finally, there are those that don’t give you a reason. They’re probably hiding something (like a spouse or partner, maybe?).
I once went on a date with someone from the S.W.A.T. team who claimed he didn’t have a cell phone. Oh, please. If there’s one profession where you need to be easily accessible, that would be it. We only had two dates and then he disappeared. No cell phone is an orange flag.
No E-mail: This is similar to the above flag. If they can’t afford a computer, they’ve got other things they need to be doing with their time instead of dating – like getting their act together.
I recently met a girl at a party that took several group pictures where I was one of the subjects. I wanted to get copies of the photos and asked for her e-mail address. She said she didn’t use e-mail. As I stood there with a puzzled look on my face wondering what kind of person didn’t use e-mail, she said, "If someone wants to communicate with me, they have to call me." Hey, I just want copies of the photos! Is a phone call really necessary for that? Needless to say, she’s single. This is a yellow flag.
TV: You know those people that need to have the TV on all the time, even if it’s just in the background? They’ve got issues. They probably don’t want to be alone with their own thoughts, and if all was quiet, that’s exactly what would happen.
As one becomes more evolved, they start to understand that silence is golden, welcoming some quiet time alone. If they don’t want to spend time with themselves (without a TV in the background), why would anyone else want to spend time with them? This is a yellow flag.
REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Write to Lucia at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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