Dear Lucia,

I’ve been single nearly two years. The thought of going on a date is exciting at first, but when it comes round to it, I panic, feel physically sick and always cancel. I also automatically presume the worst and again feel sick if someone doesn’t text or call back.

I’m fed up with feeling like this. It’s not me, and I can’t understand why I can’t move on. I thought I was stronger. I’m not generally this insecure.


Dear Sarah,

No matter how strong and secure we may think we are, dating and relationships have the ability to bring anyone to their knees. Emotions and intellect run on two different tracks. Intellectually you may know better, but you can’t help the emotions you feel.

The fact that you actually feel physically sick enough to the point of canceling tells me you need to seek professional help. Your fears and anxieties are so high that your body is actually stopping you from going through with the date. Please get this handled sooner rather than later.

Dear Lucia,
I am in a relationship and will be getting married next year. My boyfriend’s penis is very small – 3.5 centimeters when it is erect.

I am worried that it is not enough for intercourse. Will he be able to satisfy me? What should I do?

—Janaki from Sri Lanka

Dear Janaki,
Since you’re asking if he will be able to satisfy you, I’m assuming you haven’t had sex yet. Sex is obviously important to you, otherwise you wouldn’t be concerned about his penis size. Of course, size isn’t everything, but it certainly does help.

If you’re willing to have sex before marriage, then I would suggest you do and see if you have sexual chemistry. If you find that you’re not compatible, or you want to be married before having sex, then you have to ask yourself how important sex is to you.

Are you willing to be with someone who may never be able to satisfy you the way you want to be satisfied? Only you can answer that question.

Hi Lucia,

I have been dating a married man for four years. I try to leave him at least two times per year, but I can’t because I really love him.

I have a son who has emotional asthma. When I tried to leave my husband (his father), my son got so sick that he spent two weeks in the hospital.

How can I get money benefits from my lover? He owns two airplanes and four buildings. I am his savior when he has troubles or stress. He consults with me about every important step in his life; I just don’t have the will to ask for some things that I need and which my husband cannot provide.

My husband and I live together only for the sake of my son’s health. He doesn’t care about what I need; he just cares for his son.

I’m open to whatever you would like to say to me, even insults. My economical situation is not the best and maybe I can use some tactics to get out of the sinking boat.


Dear Julia,

You are in a tough spot. Although you don’t mention what types of things you need which your husband doesn’t provide, I’m going to assume these are not clothes and shoes.

Is your lover aware of your financial situation? If so, then I’m surprised that he hasn’t offered to help.

Since leaving your husband is currently out of the question, then you need to ask your lover for assistance. If he loves you, he will want to help. If he doesn’t love you and/or he is cheap, he won’t want to help.

At that point, you will have to leave him. Don’t worry, it won’t be permanent.

If you are such an important part of his life that he consults with you on everything, then you are a very valuable asset to him. People often don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.

Let him experience life without you for a while. I am almost certain that at some point he will realize he needs you in his life, and will be willing to help you out.

Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

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