I dated a great girl for three to four months about two years ago. We have stayed in touch over the past two years. She contacted me on my birthday, and I decided I wanted to get to know her really well as friends first this time around. We have been talking on the phone and writing over the past two months now. Recently she was in town to visit friends, and I told her I wanted to see her. She never stopped by but called the next day and said she did in fact come by, but it was the “wrong apartment.” My heart tells me otherwise, as she has been here before. About two weeks later my best friend died in a violent car crash. When I was discussing this with her and how much I loved him, she did not offer any support or concern or sympathy even though she knew him. After reading your interesting articles on yellow/orange/red flags, I am curious to see if you believe this is something to be concerned about. My heart keeps telling me that these two things are a “bad sign,” and I should not pursue this further.
Hell yeah, this is something to be concerned about. She lies and is not compassionate. Do those sound like good qualities for a friend, girlfriend or whomever? Your relationship ended two years ago for a reason. Let sleeping dogs lie and move on.
I would like to know how the average woman would react to going on a date with a guy and finding out on the date that he had a concealed pistol. I am not law enforcement or security, but I am licensed by the state to carry a firearm for personal protection. I never want to worry about my own safety or that of the ones I love despite the neighborhood we may be in.
I was in the army, so I am very familiar and comfortable with weapons, however, I would not want to be around a concealed weapon. You just never know what may happen, because I’m assuming it’s loaded. Therefore, I would think the average woman would probably also not feel comfortable.
I met a guy at a tractor pull and started dating about a month later. We dated for about two weeks and really had a lot in common! He said he really liked me and even wanted to come meet my parents. He planned a date four nights in a row, didn’t make it any of those nights but continued to talk to me. Next thing I know, he’s missing. I haven’t heard from him in a week! I’ve tried to call and text him and get nothing back! He works about 97 percent of the time, and we live over an hour apart, so I think he’s done with me. Do you think he’ll ever try to come back?
He will probably try to come back at some point, but why would you want him? Anyone who isn’t willing to follow through on dates four nights in a row is obviously not that interested. Move on.
I just told my girlfriend (We’re both first loves.) that I loved her. I felt it, meant it and wanted to share it. Now, all she does is want to hear me say it all the time and reminds me how long it’s been since I said it. This pushes me away, and now I don’t feel like saying it when she asks or reminds me. Is she too needy or am I over reacting? —Scott
She’s too needy. Tell her, “I really like it that you are so secure that you don’t need to hear me say I love you all the time. It makes me love you even more.” Say it with a wink and a smile, and hopefully she’ll get it!
Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net.
Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net.
Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com.
Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.