With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice – after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it. Dear Lucia,
Why would a girl act interested, give me her number, make plans to go out with me -- and then just totally blow me off? I ran into her months later and she acted like nothing happened. Is this girl psycho, or are all girls like this?
No, not all girls are psychos, just like all guys are not jerks. Women have a hard time turning men down in person, so sometimes they say yes and then hope the date won’t materialize.
Other times, they think they really are interested, but realize afterward that they’re not. Or maybe an ex came back into the picture. Who knows? If you’re still interested, ask her out again. If she flakes again, move on.
I need to be more alluring ... more mysterious. I’m very friendly and funny, but it hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I’d like to keep that part of my personality, but I want guys to think I’m a bit mysterious too. What are some things I could do to appear that way?
Thank you for your question. I think this is something that needs to be addressed. Girls today are letting it “all hang out” – in more ways than one. I’ve noticed that European girls, in general, are able to be more alluring than are American girls. I have to believe it’s a cultural thing. I’ve noticed this difference during interviews on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”
American women talk about anything and everything and are all over the place with their gestures and conversation. Europeans, on the other hand, are usually more reserved and mysterious. I remember Jay Leno telling Sophia Loren that many women had walked onto that stage, but hers was the classiest entrance.
Being mysterious is about not saying everything that’s on your mind. Guys already think most women talk too much, so cutting back will immediately set you apart from the crowd. Don’t always let your whereabouts be known and don’t ask too many questions about things that are inconsequential. Don’t always return calls right away and don’t ask questions such as: Where were you? Why didn’t you call sooner? When can we get together again? Most women can’t do this, but those that do will get the most positive attention from men.
Just read your article “Being Alone.” Thank you – it’s just what I needed to read. I’m in love with someone who just can’t give anything in return. When I do special things for her, she’s dismissive and she does not do special things for me. I took her out for Valentine’s, bought her flowers and nice gifts, and then she complained that I didn’t do more. I deserve better – time to let her go. Thank you – being alone is better than being in a bad relationship.
Glad to be of help. I’d like to correct one thing, though – she can give something in return, but she knows she can get away with not doing it. She knows you’re only too happy to do the giving, so she is only too happy to do the taking. Unless you understand this and how you contributed to the situation you’re bound to repeat it in future relationships. You should ask yourself why you are willing to give without getting much in return. I have a few ideas … . Good luck.
REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
Watch Lucia’s show, “The Art of Love” on the Comcast Public Access Channel on Friday, March 18 at 6:30 p.m. The topic: Yellow/Orange Flags.
Write to Lucia at: www.theartoflove.net.