Hi Lucia,

I am attracted to a man who works in a department store. I was standing with my back towards him when he walked up behind me and asked if I needed help.

I said yes and then turned around and WOW – there was this gorgeous guy standing there. Since it was not his department, he called for help, and we left it at that.

I was looking for an item that had to be ordered, and a few days later, I went back to order it. He again approached me and asked if I needed help. I thanked him and told him that he helped me a few days before. He suddenly seemed to remember who I was and what I was looking for that day, so we briefly chatted about that.

Five days later I went back again with a gay male friend of mine to find out if my order came in. We saw him from the distance, and he shouted something like: “You should get a job here since you are here all the time.” He walked over to us, and we chatted for a few minutes.

My friend was the one who started joking around that this guy likes me. I was thinking that maybe he is just a helpful salesperson, but my friend’s point was that it looked like he came over just to chat me up, because he left his department to talk to me.

The salesperson who ordered my item was not there that day so I went back to him and gave him my telephone number and asked him to give it to the other employee. At this point I did go back to him as a reason to talk to him a bit again.

He was very helpful, professional and smiled at me a lot. I noticed that he had no wedding ring.

My item arrived a few days later, and when I went to pick it up I thanked him for his help. He introduced himself, and we shook hands.

I had his name finally, and I used it to search online to see if I could find out something. He has an account on one of those friendship sites (not a dating site). He has a few pictures up there, and it also says that he is in a relationship.

My original plan was to go back to the store and ask him out for coffee, but at this point I am not sure if that would be appropriate. I do not want to take what that Web site said as the absolute truth, but I also do not want to be in a middle of anything.

I still would like to get the opportunity to ask him out, but my dilemma is that I am debating between asking him out versus going back to the store again to see if he would ask me out. I used to work in a department store before, and I also know that it may be against their rules for an employee to ask a customer out on a date.

What do you suggest? Should I take the chance and ask him out, or should I go back to the store with an alibi? I also have an account on that Web site, so I could also send him a message there as well.  


Hi K.R.,

What an exciting adventure this sounds like! You’re right; he may not be able to ask you out because you’re a customer.

Whenever you meet someone who is “on the job,” and you are attracted to them, I suggest giving them your card and saying something like, “I really enjoyed talking to you. If you’d like to get together again, here’s my number.”

Smile and walk away. You don’t want to put them on the spot if they were just being friendly and are not interested in anything further.

I would definitely not suggest contacting him on the Web site. He’ll know you’ve been doing research on him, and while it may be flattering, it’s also a bit creepy.

Let me know how it goes.

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