Hi Lucia,

There is this guy who is 26-years-old, and we are attracted to each other. I’m 41.

He comes into the salon I work at. I saw him out one night, and we ended up drinking and sleeping together.

One night he called me to have drinks, but it was brief. The other night he called to see what I was doing. He was kind of buzzed. He came over and we messed around but didn’t sleep together.

He kept telling me he wants to take me out on a real date, but he is really busy with work. He said he would get a hotel for my birthday, and we would go out for dinner.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. I was wondering what I should do about this? I do like younger guys and would like to date them, but it seems all they want is sex.

How should I be acting towards this guy? I think I know what you’re going to tell me. I just need to hear it!


Hi Rene,

How you “act” depends on what your goal is. Let’s clear up one thing. All guys want sex, not just younger guys.

You’re assuming that all younger guys want from older women is sex. While that certainly may be true for some, it’s not true for all of them. Some actually do want to go on dates and even have relationships.

Most of the time, the ball is in the woman’s court. How you handle his “advances” often determines the outcome. This means that if you have sex right away, as you did, then it will be difficult to change it into a dating relationship.

If you want to date, then as with men of any age, you need to wait and let the guy show his interest by pursuing you. This easily eliminates the guys who just want sex and are not willing to put in any “work.”

Don’t listen to what he says, but watch what he does. He can say that he wants to take you out, but until he actually does, it’s just small talk.

If you want to date him, then the next time he contacts you, let him know you will be happy to meet him out somewhere. Don’t let him come back to your place or go back to his.

Dear Lucia,

If a man is not satisfied with the sex life with his wife, then should he go for an extra marital affair with or without love?

My wife is very cold, and I have tried a lot to make her hot. She also doesn’t control her figure.


Dear Rick,

I don’t usually answer questions from married people; however, I know there are guys who are currently single that will one day be in your situation, so I will answer as a “preventative measure.”

When choosing the person you will marry, keep two things in mind: Choose wisely; treat nicely.

This means that if sex and fitness are important to you, pick someone for whom these two things are also a priority. If you are not compatible sexually and/or your partner is not disciplined with food or working out, then no matter how “in love” you are, you don’t get married.

A relationship is like a garden. It needs to be tended to or it will die. Once you get married, instead of becoming complacent and taking the other person for granted, you should instead continue to act like their boyfriend/girlfriend.

I’m sure your wife wasn’t cold when she was your girlfriend (and if she was then you didn’t choose wisely). She’s unhappy with you and the relationship, and you need to find out why.

You also need to acknowledge your part in it. Once you start to work on any issues, she will be more motivated to lose weight and keep it off.

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