Hi Lucia,

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for three and a half months. When we started dating he told me that he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings and that I’m probably not going to hear about his past personal life.

Recently I moved to his friend’s place, and now I live a couple of blocks away from him. I see him two to three times a week, including weekends.

I wasn’t that experienced in bed when I met him. I’m 22, and he is 27. We had a lot of fun together, and I like being with him.

Even though we were tired or it was very late at night, we always found time to make love. However, now it seems like he is not that into it, and we don’t have sex as frequently as we did before.

He takes me out, gives me really nice presents on holidays but never shares his feelings. I think that I’m in love with him, though never really told him directly about it since he doesn’t like to talk about feelings. We’ve met each other’s friends, talk about our families but never talk about exes or where this is going.

I really care about him, but sometimes I ask myself if I’m pushing too hard and we’re spending too much time together. He always helps whenever it’s needed, but I’m wondering how I should act so that he will still be interested in continuing our relationship.

—Jordan

Hi Jordan,

You’ve answered your own question! Glad to finally see people catching on.

Instead of making yourself a prize, you handed yourself over and quickly got into a relationship before you knew who you were dealing with. You were too easy, too accessible and now it sounds like he’s getting bored.

You definitely need to see him less – only twice a week. I would suggest once during the week and one day on the weekend. He will value your company more as a result of having you less.

In terms of your sexual experience, we are not born naturally knowing what to do. I would suggest you read books by Tracey Cox and Lou Paget.

Finally, instead of being concerned about where it’s going, concentrate on living in the now and enjoying yourself. It’s going to go where it’s going to go and trying to rush things is only going to push him away.



Hi Lucia,

I have two daughters – one 20 and one 17. I will be going on a date with a 19 year old. The guy I have a date with is good friends with my 17 year old’s ex-boyfriend.

She is very judgmental and not happy about this. I don’t want to hurt her, but this guy is very nice, fun, and we have a lot in common.

My daughter is being over dramatic. I am trying to make her realize we are going on a date, not getting married. She said I am pathetic and embarrassing and that I go out with young guys because I can’t get anybody my own age and I do it to make myself feel good.

Well duh, what girl wouldn’t go out with someone else to make herself feel good? I see nothing wrong with it. Any advice?

—Nancy

Hi Nancy,

You’ve certainly hit the nail on the head. The main reason for doing anything in life, especially choosing to date certain people, is because we feel good around them.

Remember that you’re the parent here, and you can date whomever you want. Tell her you’re sorry she’s not happy about it, however, it’s your decision.

I would not bring him to the house for a while, since it may be awkward. If you continue to date him for any length of time, she may eventually be more accepting of the situation, and at that point you can “bring him home.”



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