I was recently flying in first class when I realized the obvious: It’s mainly men in first class. Why is that? Because a man’s priority is a career and a woman’s priority is a relationship.

Before divorce became socially acceptable, women could count on getting married and being taken care of for the rest of their lives. In an era with a 50/50 chance of staying married, it’s no longer acceptable or wise to count on a man to come along and “save” you.

The times in my life when I didn’t make men a priority were when I was doing something that I was passionate about – when it didn’t matter if a guy called or if I hadn’t seen him for a week. Yet, those were also the times when the guy moved towards me and was more interested in me because he could see he was not my main focus. I wasn’t playing to be hard to get, I was hard to get.

This attitude will set you apart from most women. Instead of wanting to talk about the relationship and where it’s going, you will be talking about the new class you’re taking or the project you’re working on.

You become more attractive, because men will know you are not just looking for someone to pay the bills. They admire women who have goals (other than marriage) and who are working towards making their lives richer on all levels.

In Why Men Marry Bitches, author Sherry Argov says, “Men tend to approach love as though it’s a business-deal negotiation … [Men] want a woman who can take care of business. It turns them on mentally and sexually.”

It’s time women made their careers/jobs/passions as important as their romantic relationships. As you are moving towards your goals, you are also effortlessly becoming more attractive to men. Men get engaged to women who are already “engaged” in interesting, happy lives.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net.

Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net.

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Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.