Hi Lucia,

I met a bouncer at a club. I asked my friend to give me his number. We started talking and then went on a date. He couldn’t take his hands off of me, but I did not have sex with him.

I didn’t hear back from him, so a week later I texted him and told him I wanted to have sex with him. He said yes. We did it, and I never heard from him again!

We stop talking for three weeks, and when I would go to the club where he works, he would look in the other direction. I texted him the other day, and he texted back, “Who is this?”

I told him I was his Dream Girl. We texted for 24 hours, but I didn’t tell him who I was. He said he couldn’t believe how long we had been texting, and he liked how we have so much in common.

When I finally revealed who I was, he said, “You have a cool personality but you say a lot of weird stuff, and that’s a huge turn off. We can be friends.”

I really like him, and I know I shouldn’t. What can I do?

—Jeannette

Hi Jeannette,

Eww. What can you do? You’ve already done too much. You asked for his number, you contacted him for sex, you contacted him when you didn’t hear from him and you still want to do something!

There’s one thing you can do: Stop it! You’re acting like a desperate, pathetic woman with no dignity. No man in his right mind would be attracted to that.

You are doing the chasing, and he is turned off. Men aren’t attracted to a woman beyond a sexual attraction because of what she does, but because of who she is.

Heterosexual men are attracted to women, but by being the pursuer, you are behaving like a man. Have you ever seen the deer chase the hunter? You’ve already blown it with him.

If you listen to what I’ve told you, you will be more successful with men in the future. If you don’t listen, you will continue to be used and discarded like a tissue.



Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.