Dear Lucia,

I met a very attractive, successful, younger man online who lives in another state. We have passed the last several months talking via phone, e-mail and IM.

He has already said he will fly out to visit with me, which I am looking forward to. He is 26-years-old. Can this really work?

I tried asking my girlfriends and family members, but everyone just laughed and said, “No.” I am a hopeless romantic. Am I reading too much into this?

—Hoping in Florida

Dear Hoping,

There is nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, as long as you are also a cautious romantic! When you ask if this can work, I’m assuming you mean as a relationship. That will depend on his level of maturity and what he’s looking for at this point in his life. While some 26-year-old men are ready to settle down, most aren’t.

Let him show you who he is. Are the majority of your conversations sexual? How hard will he be pushing to have sex when he comes to visit? If you get the vibe that it’s just about sex, then it is. A guy who is interested in a relationship will not want to offend you by bringing up sex too soon and too much.

As usual, time will tell. So just lean back, relax and watch to see if he’s interested in you, or just in sleeping with you.

Hi Lucia,

If a guy is 30 minutes late for a first date, should I dump him?


Hi J.A.,

That may be a bit harsh. When someone is late the first time, I usually say, “Thanks for being on time,” in a lighthearted tone. That way you let them know being punctual is important, without making a big deal out of it.

If someone is continually late, then either plan to be ready 30 minutes later than they said they would arrive or tell them to arrive 30 minutes earlier. If you are meeting them somewhere, you always have the option of leaving after 15 minutes. Actions speak louder than words, and it just may be the wake up call they need.

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