I’ve had a boyfriend for about year and a half, and his best friend hates me for no apparent reason. He never wants to be around me. If there’s any activity with our other friends and he is going too, he doesn’t even want to ride in the same car if I am present.

My boyfriend tells me that his friend tells him that he doesn’t want to know me and doesn’t want to be around me. I’ve never been mean or bad to him, since one of my great personality treats is being very friendly and polite.

To me, his best friend’s attitude is disrespectful and mean. I think that my boyfriend should at least defend me, or in the extreme case, tell him that if he keeps being that way with me he is not going to be his friend anymore.

But nothing happens. My boyfriend just acts like it has no importance, and this really aggravates me because I believe that he has no right to be like that with me and boyfriend is just ignoring everything.

I don’t know what to think or what to do. Is this something I should really worry about?

—Tammy

Hi Tammy,

There is something about you that your boyfriend’s friend sees in you that he dislikes in himself. Seeing you reminds him of this, that’s why he doesn’t want you around.

Is there anything you can do? No.

He is the one with the problem, not you. I would suggest you be polite when he is around, but do not try to engage in conversation with him.

As for your boyfriend, I agree that he should be standing up for you. He’s caught in the middle because he doesn’t want to lose either of you.

You said you don’t know what to think. I say, “Don’t think. Feel.”

Tell your boyfriend how this makes you feel, but don’t make it his fault. You can say something like, “When you don’t stand up for me I feel so sad.”

By using “I feel” statements, you are being real, authentic and vulnerable, and no man can resist that. Let me know what happens.



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