DON’T keep talking to a girl that claims to be a lesbian; that’s a good time to move on.

DON’T use hair gel; it’s called wax people. If your hair can’t come within two feet of an open flame, it won’t be allowed near any other warm things later.

DON’T copy moves from Justin Timberlake; you aren’t him, and you never will be.

DON’T just stand there, either. Bob your head and bend your legs or whatever it is real men do.

DON’T bring your bro and try to pawn him off on some poor unsuspecting girl’s friend while you try to hit on her. It’s so sad for both parties, knowing that they are the lesser. It will backfire on you majorly, for not only will the girl’s friend be pissed, but so will your friend for making him stand with Little Miss Angry.

DON’T wear a gay shirt. If you don’t know what a gay shirt is, wear a plain white T-shirt and memorize the following: A Gay Shirt – anything floral, pink, unbuttoned to show off perfectly manicured gay chest hair, flared at the wrists, tight, swirly colors and lines, anything from H&M or anything a girl could get away with wearing.

DON’T tell a girl she’s the only one in the club who’s “normal looking.” Even though you mean it as a compliment, she won’t take it as one.

DON’T stare at the “models” or “dancers.” They will never ever, ever, date you anyways. Plus, you’ll look like a huge boner.

DON’T, as a general note, be a “metrosexual.” It’s gross and totally getting you nowhere.

DON’T tell girls to smile. Who are you anyways? That makes us sick to our stomachs.

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