Deciding on a holiday gift for a college student is damn near impossible.

Thinking about getting him a CD? Chances are he already downloaded it (illegally), has a Spotify account or doesn't really know what a CD is.

Oh, how about a cute bubble bath set from Bath & Body Works for the college girl? Nope, baths are a luxury in college, and she probably only has access to a germ-infested shower that she shares with multiple people.

If you want an idea of what a typical college student really wants for Christmas, we suggest you read the list below:

1. Unlimited Uber or Lyft rides.

2. An energy substance that doesn't cause jitters or contain any calories.

3. Multi-thousand dollar gift card to the campus bookstore or Amazon to buy just books. Yep, just books.

4. A yearlong gift card to CVS, Rite Aid or any drugstore that sells alcohol, TV dinners and shaving cream.

5. Really, any gift card is find. Or money and checks. A student can never have too much money or too many checks.

6. This beer pong ball cleaner.

7. A get-out-of-jail-free card for every class taught by a boring professor with bad breath and an impressive spitting distance.

8. A hangover cure that relieves headaches and nausea. But we'll keep the convenient memory loss so we won't ever remember the drunk texts we sent to our ex last night.

9. Next year's Thanksgiving Break to extend beyond two weekdays.

10. A care package from home every month for the following year.

11. The metabolism and energy of a 10-year-old boy.

12. Every college to offer a class that let's you waste time on the Internet.

13. Someone to wash our sheets.

14. No student loans.

Did we forget something? Add yours!