I have been with my girlfriend for three months. The problem is that before we make love, I’m the only one doing the foreplay. To be touched in the right places I need to ask for it. Maybe I’m selfish, but how can I get my girlfriend to touch me without always having to ask for it?

—David, Venice

Matt McKenzie, Tsunami Bomb
: Now David, first off, never ask for it. Girls will think you’re strange. And to make matters even more difficult, they have a natural inclination to say ‘no’ when you ask for stuff like that. Getting your girlfriend to take a newfound interest in you is quite simple. Just start ignoring her. Better yet, start hitting on her friends. I’m sure she’ll come around fairly quickly and everything should be smooth sailing in no time.

Gabe Lindeman, Tsunami Bomb: You have two options: Make your girlfriend more comfortable, or get her really drunk.

Love Doc: Whenever she touches you just in the right places, let her know. Say, "Oh baby, it fells so good when you do that, it makes me want to buy you a car." That might do the trick.

There’s this great girl I met in class that I’d like to ask out. But here’s the problem: I’ve lost a lot of weight, about 84 pounds, and still have about 36 pounds to go. She’s on the volleyball team – athletic, with a nice body. I want to ask her out but am afraid she won’t go out with me because I’m fat.

—Stuart, Northridge

: While first impressions often rely on physical looks for most people, remember this: Personality is way more important. It’s all in how you carry yourself. If you go up there and give that girl a good smile, maybe tell a couple jokes and just relax and make sure she’s having a good time, I’m sure she’d be stoked to hang out.

Gabe: You have two options: Wait until you’ve lost the remaining 36 pounds and then ask her out. Or, ask her out and try to be as positive and confident about it as possible, because the majority of the time girls pick up on your confidence level more than on what you look like.

Love Doc: You know, Stuart, there are girls out there who are "chubby chasers," but you won’t know until you ask her out. But there aren’t many, so I’d say keep eating the celery and carrot sticks and continue to talk with her and get to know her.

There’s this guy that I like and I want to make a move on him. I’m wondering what a girl needs to do to get a guy horny, so much so that he can’t hold back? What kinds of words make a guy excited? What kind of clothes should I wear?

—Brigett, Marina del Rey

: Different things do it for different guys. It could be a number of things – tight fitting clothes, a brilliant smile, midgets and whip cream, the list goes on – but most guys like a girl that is confident in herself. I’m talking about the kind of girl that can hang out, joke around and laugh at herself, have fun in almost any situation, wait on the beach while a guy goes surfing and then take him and his surfing buddies out for pizza and beer afterwards. OK, so I’m getting into my own things here, but the bottom line is, a guy will most likely just want to feel relaxed around a girl.

Gabe: You have two options, both of which are a matter of taste in how you’d like to be viewed by this guy. I like a girl who can wear something a little revealing, not slutty but classy. Bait him by dropping a hint and letting him come to you. Or, you can throw yourself at him and make it completely obvious that you want to be with him. Just don’t expect him to talk to you the next day.

Love Doc: Do a lot of looking into his eyes when he talks, touching here and there, and ask him about his favorite things. Oh, and be sure to wear a button-down shirt. But most importantly, get him to a place where you’re completely alone with him since most guys don’t like spectators when they’re about to do the wild thing.

—Compiled by Mari Fong

Tsunami Bomb’s The Definitive Act is currently available. For more information, visit tsunamibomb.com. Campus Circle or our special guests are not responsible for the results of taking our advice, nor do we claim to know anything. We just think it’s fun to give random strangers advice.