Hi Lucia,

I dated a girl for about 4 months and then she came to me saying she is going to marry another guy whom she had known for 2 months in a long distance relationship.  They planned to meet and live together but then they split up.  

Now the girl wants to see me again but I recently started dating another girl a month ago (we don’t have a commitment yet).  

I don't know what to think and do about the ex.  Do I delete her completely from my life?  Art

Hi Art,

What you do with the ex depends on what type of relationship you’re interested in at this point in your life.  If you are looking for someone to marry and be the mother of your children, you can certainly be friends with the ex, but do not for a moment consider her for a serious relationship. 

The only reason she’s back is because it didn’t work out with the other guy.  You’re not her first choice.  If she’s capable of wandering off in the first few months of dating, she’ll be even more capable of doing it when you’ve been together for years.  Is that the type of woman you want to be married to?  

Also, what type of woman agrees to marry a guy she hasn’t even met?  She’s either desperate or mentally ill.

If however you’re in casual dating mode and you don’t want to completely let go of your ex yet, you can date both girls or just keep the ex as a friend and date the current girl.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from her book, Lucia’s Lessons of Love, at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.