Alex Greenwald, Phantom Planet: I’ve also been this way with girlfriends, which I think is a perfectly normal way to feel for a guy. But there’s a reason why you’re with her and she’s kissing you – that’s what you should be thinking about. Obviously, you two are making each other happy. If you can’t stop thinking this way, then you’re fucked. The truth is, if you focus on anything but the present in your life, you’re screwing yourself, so just stop thinking about it and be happy with her in the moment.
Love Doc: I think this is a natural "territorial" thing that a guy can feel toward a girl he really likes. But the reality is, most girls you’ll meet will have likely been with other people. You need to appreciate this instead of feeling jealous of it. Just think of it this way, all her past experiences made her the person she is today. Maybe being with the "wrong" people in the past has made her attracted to the "right" you in the present. Be happy.
My boyfriend of four months has stopped doing the nice, sweet things that make
a relationship fun and exciting. He used to send me notes and cards and call me
all the time, now I feel he’s neglecting the relationship. How do I get him
to be more affectionate with me?
—Jillian, Northridge
Alex: Ah, the four months of courtship are up and now it’s relationship time!
I think, if he’s a keeper, just mentioning to him that you miss certain aspects
of what he used to do for you, like sending notes or calling more often, should
make him more understanding. As long as you can bring it up in conversation and
make sure that he doesn’t think it’s nagging in any way.
You should also think if there are certain things that you’re not doing and
discuss that with him too. The more open you are in a relationship the better.
If I have one piece of advice that people should follow is: talk, talk, talk.
Communication is important.
Love Doc: Every time he does something nice for you, like a sweet note or an unexpected
gift, give him something in return. How about giving him a note back inviting
him to enjoy you in his favorite lingerie? All the return attention will subconsciously
let him know that whatever affectionate things he does for you, he’ll be
getting a treat of his own soon.
My boyfriend wants me to wear a thong, but the idea of wearing sexy things just
to please him makes me feel like an object and also very silly. Shouldn’t
he like me for my other qualities?
—Rachel, Valley Glen
Alex: He should like you for your other qualities and he probably does. I have
a feeling that G-strings and thongs are probably uncomfortable to wear. If you
want to have fun with it, you should probably say, "Sure, I’ll wear
them. If you do."
I think you should definitely make him wear a thong at least once. Only because
I think it’s funny, not because I think it will help in any way. Maybe even
take a picture of him in it so you can look at that whenever you feel objectified.
Love Doc: If he’s your boyfriend, then yes, he does like you for your other
qualities. But what’s wrong with liking you for your physical qualities too?
Guys are more visual than girls when it comes to attraction, so accept it and
have fun with it. Just pretend it’s Halloween and dress up in something wild
– maybe you can even take on a new persona? Give it a go.
—Compiled by Mari Fong
Phantom Planet’s Negatives 2 album (rare tracks and demos) is currently available at www.phantomplanetbootlegs.com. Phantom Planet’s Chicago, Chicagogoing, Chicagogone DVD will release on Dec. 14. For more information, visit www.phantomplanet.com.
Campus Circle or our special guests are not responsible for the results of taking our advice, nor do we claim to know anything. We just think it’s fun to give random strangers advice.
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