I’m 25 years old and am dating a guy who’s 18. I’m going to college and he’ll soon be graduating from high school. My friends tease me all the time and tell me that I’m a "cradle robber." This really hurts my feelings and is starting to affect my relationship with him. What should I do? Is he too young for me? —Kate, Garden Grove
Buddy Nielsen, Senses Fail: Kate, why do you care what your friends think? My advice to you is that you do whatever you want and don’t think too hard on what other people think and say. If you really cared about your relationship, you wouldn’t take what your friends say so seriously, it’s probably bringing out other insecurities you’ve got. I dated a 45-year-old mother and my friends didn’t give a crap. I guess I’m just lucky!
Love Doc: So you’re dating a younger guy, who the hell cares? Your friends do, probably ’cause you have what they don’t have – a great relationship with a nice guy. We were all teased in grade school; isn’t it time to finally stop and say, "I don’t give a f**k?" Just tell your friends, "Yup, he’s young and he’s hot. So where are we going for lunch?"
What is the best way to approach a stranger and get to know her? There’s a girl I see on campus all the time and I really want to meet her, but I don’t know anyone who knows her! What should I do or say to make a good impression?
—Nathan, Santa Monica
Buddy: Nathan, look, when it comes approaching women I say you gotta grab the bull by its horns and scream at it ’til you’re blue in the face! In this case, just go up to her and say, "Hey, my name is Nathan and I think you’re pretty. So what do you think about HBO original programming?"
Love Doc: Just walk up to her and ask for help. Girls love to nurture, so if you say something like, "I’m trying to find the Kock building. Do you know how to get there?" Or, if she’s in one of your classes, say, "I’ve got to miss class tomorrow to visit a dying friend in the hospital. Would you mind if I copied your notes from class?" Then, when you two start talking, be sure to ask her questions about herself. And look interested.
Since I started going out with my girlfriend, I catch girls eyeing me when I’m walking with her, even more than when I’m alone. Girls that I don’t even know will come up to me, asking questions like, "Oooo, what do your tattoos mean?" Do girls find a guy who is happy with his girlfriend more attractive than a single guy?
Mike Glita, Senses Fail: Hey Carlos, you’ve got the "Girl Likes Taken Guy" syndrome. But I think it works both ways, for guys and girls. No one has ever figured this dilemma out, but I believe it’s more of a thing with girls than guys. Girls love three things: gossip, shopping and what they can’t have. When you’re what they can’t have, they won’t give up until the bitter end.
Love Doc: Yes. Some guys are more confident when they’re in a relationship, which is a big turn on. When a guy is having regular sex with his girlfriend, and all his friends know he’s having sex, this alone can make a guy feel better about himself. Enjoy the attention and the sex while you have it and keep your confidence up, no matter what. Or invest in a puppy.
—Compiled by Mari Fong
Senses Fail’s album Let It Enfold You is currently available. For more information, visit sensesfail.com.
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