Over 30 years ago, there was a wave of reported bedbug incidents here in Los Angeles until the majority of the bugs were wiped out and never heard from again. Lately though, bedbugs have been all over the news as frequently as a hip-hop star or an athlete in trouble!

Like most things that unfortunately somehow make their way back into the spotlight (mom jeans, non-ironic mustaches or Garth Brooks), bedbugs have been back in the news again this year. Don’t call it a comeback! They’ve been here for years, and upon a closer look, bedbugs are just like us!

Bedbugs thrive in warm weather and have been recently spotted in New York and Los Angeles. Proof that they just want to party in all the hotspots – literally – just like we do!

Don’t hate … just evaluate! Evaluate the situation – no, not THAT Situation from “Jersey Shore,” although the bedbugs were first reported in New Jersey before escaping late last year. Damn. NO ONE wants to stay in Jersey, not even bedbugs!

A few months ago, they were found in the Empire State Building, no doubt wanting to do a little sightseeing while staying inside to avoid that awful New York humidity. Next they were spotted in a Victoria’s Secret in Manhattan. Check: Bedbugs want to look and feel sexy just like we do!

Bedbugs were also found in a Hollister store and later in an Abercrombie store in New York City. Hollister and Abercrombie! Bedbugs are trendy, just like us!

This also proves what I’ve been saying all summer: Half tops and short shorts are NOT for everybody if you don’t have the stomach, legs or the ass to wear them.

Afterward, perhaps feeling more confident with their newfound sexiness, bedbugs were ready for the world to see them – on TV – as they were found inside the Time Warner Center, home to CNN and other media outlets.

I’m NOT buggin’ out – pun intended – these are real facts. Don’t hate … investigate! These are real facts about real bedbugs up in a real worldwide news center!

Obviously, the bedbugs were trying to get their 15 minutes of fame like so many people of our generation, and like so many others do, trying to get that fame by doing absolutely nothing besides being seen in popular places with large posses of other undesirables.

When the move to the small screen didn’t get the desired attention, the bedbugs bum rushed the big screen – 25 large screens at once in fact – by storming one of the largest movie theaters in New York: the AMC Empire in Times Square. The theater was evacuated briefly, but the little gangsters still apparently didn’t get the props the thought they deserved.

Perhaps afterward the bedbugs thought the people in New York City were just too cruel, heartless and weren’t recognizing their talent. So they did what a lot of attention-starved people do when they don’t make it in New York: They moved to L.A.!

Bedbugs can go long periods without feeding themselves; perfect for the long trip to Los Angeles and perfect for fitting in with a lot of people and celebrities here who also go long periods without feeding themselves! On the way it was reported that the bedbugs were spotted in Michigan, probably trying to catch a ride in the home of the auto industry to speed up their trip to the Golden State.

Shortly thereafter, a woman staying in the Hilton in Ohio reported bedbugs terrorizing her while she slept. They were probably looking for the Queen of Getting Famous for Doing Absolutely Nothing: Paris Hilton, whose family owns the hotel.

Paris wasn’t in Ohio at the time, and the amount of fame most celebrities want to achieve isn’t in Ohio either, just ask LeBron James (the King to Paris Hilton’s Queen). So the bugs continued their journey to California, where last week it was announced that the bedbugs had finally arrived.

Now that the bedbugs are here, will Hollywood give them their own reality show? “Buggin’ out with the BB’s.”

Perhaps a movie, putting the bedbugs vs. the vampires to see who is the most blood sucking?

Or will the bedbugs not get the shot they desperately feel they deserve and then desperately do what so many other failed actors and actresses here do … porn.

Is the next wave going to be threesomes involving vampires, bedbugs and video hoes; all of whom love to stay in bed all day?

Don’t hate … evacuate!